Kim’s Story

After throwing my 3 year old daughter into her car seat, I stood on the curb knowing that only one more step into the street would end my pain. I felt like a crappy mother, my marriage was falling apart, I couldn’t move forward in my work, and my health was in the toilet.   Instead, I got in the car and put my head on the wheel and started sobbing, as my daughter watched me from the back seat screaming.

I had created a pretty good life. I had a masters in Transpersonal Studies/Psychology and had started my own wellness coaching business. I was married to a doctor, lived in a great neighborhood, and had a beautiful little girl; on the outside I was doing great – but my inner world did not match and it was all starting to fall apart. I was like the little engine that could – however, I could not “keep it all together” and go on like this anymore.

After years of reading every self help book out there, meditating for hours, going to retreat after retreat, setting massive intentions and using positive thinking as much as possible, it was pretty devastating to end up hitting the wall.   Although all those tools and practices helped and were great in so many ways, something was clearly still missing for me. I was ready for real solutions, not just a bandaid to get me through the day.   I knew something had to change.   I began looking inward like never before.

What was missing? Why was I still getting so triggered, stressed and repeating patterns that were not serving my highest good?

The truth was, I grew up in a rough environment and the challenges I encountered as a young person were affecting me as a business owner, mother and wife even though I tried hard to put it in the past. I was raised by a dad that drank and was extremely abusive and a mom to afraid to protect me. Time and time again I got the message that I was not wanted, I was stupid, and I would never amount to anything. When I did something “wrong” there was always hell to pay. I was abandoned by both my father and my mother, and at the age of 11 ended up living with my abusive dad again against my will. I actually lived the life of Cinderella when I was with his new family – doing all the chores, being sent to my room alone and isolated, while my step brother and sister lived like royalty.

As a teenager, I had to get out of this disempowering environment, so I ended up quitting high school, moving out on my own, and getting a job to support myself. My will and determination absolutely helped me survive enough to start a family and stay married for 24 years.

But again, it was NOT EASY and I was ready to thrive. So, I began to try things that weren’t even in the books and things started to turn around! I began to function from a higher place and think of new ways of interacting with my daughter, my husband, and in my business that were more connected and nurturing. I wasn’t having to force myself or pretend. My energy started to come back. I started naturally doing things that worked. I was becoming aware of what was going on in and around me and understanding how my true thoughts and feelings were affecting my decisions and behavior. I went from being stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated to calm, confident, clear, and connected. One day I was with my daughter, and she was having a melt down. I was so calm. I listened and communicated clearly with her and worked right through the challenge with no drama.. I was like, “Oh my God.” I didn’t get mad, or exhausted.

I noticed that my work started flowing more and I was getting more clients. My energy level kept going up, and my health was improving. My communication with my husband was getting more open and we both felt heard and it was loving. At one point, my husband and I were playing with my daughter and having fun and were relaxed. I KNEW something had changed!

So one morning as I awoke, I sat on the edge of my bed, looked around at my room and asked the question, “What happened that caused this shift?” I smiled and felt this awesome inner peace.

I remember clearly hearing 4 things.

• YOU ARE LEARNING TO get off autopilot with what you are thinking, feeling and doing, and asking is it working? You are starting to get curious about yourself and others behaviors and notice when there is a trigger that is blocking connection.
• YOU ARE LEARNING TO accept who you are and where you are without all the fighting, judging, denying, and pushing against it. Even if you don’t like it, You are able to look at the truth and surrender to what was really going on inside you and around you.
• YOU ARE LEARNING TO give yourself and others genuine heartfelt validation and empathy for the feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that are present and then you are asking yourself what you need.
• YOU ARE LEARNING TO know more readily what your values are and giving yourself what you need and want. You are communicating and setting clear boundaries while staying connected. You are asking how would it be different if you could think and act in this new way you are wanting? You are building positive references and making choices that are in alignment with your highest good.

Now I feel determined about getting the WAVE Process® out to as many people as possible no matter how scared or challenged I feel. It is true that my early challenges in life absolutely affected me.   I survived on pure will but the WAVE Process® became the missing link to my ability to find genuine peace within, resilience and the ability to communicate with confidence, clarity, and connection.   No matter what, I know how to move through the challenges in my life that show up as emotional triggers, blocking my decisions and actions towards my highest intentions.

As I have been using and perfecting the WAVE Process® with my business partner, Dr. Meg Hanshaw, I have become greatly aware of how these blocks and patterns have been running the show and keeping me feeling stuck and unfulfilled. Instead of bypassing my uncomfortable feelings, beliefs and behaviors, I surrendered, leaned into them and began giving myself what I needed to feel empowered and truly successful. I know how to do the dance of life between feeling the good and the not so good. Yes, I still face challenges, but now I see them as a gift even if they are uncomfortable. I now have a blueprint for moving through them, being in the process of life while reaching my goals and dreams with connection and confidence.

I now have a personal Mission…”the WAVE Process® in every heart”.

Be Empowered,

Kim